In Indian culture when you reach a certain age,
Being single and unmarried, has got to be the biggest outrage.
Gossip spreads that you are strange, gay or have a white lady to hide,
‘But don’t worry’ says an aunty, ‘we will take you India to find you the perfect bride’.
All the seniors will tell you how sad they feel about you being single,
Because the leftover women are all you can choose from now to simply mingle.
To keep the peace, I agree to meet the women and have a dinner date,
Before I know it, introductions are pouring in from South Africa right through to Kuwait.
I eagerly explore and check out the array of talent,
Soon I am told ‘wow you are so refreshing and extremely gallant’
From having met some gorgeous women all over the world,
I am confined to straitened hair pre-Madonna’s whose hair is naturally curled.
I am introduced to divorcees and virgin spinsters who have never touched a man,
Followed by intoxicant addicts who are just coming out of rehab or on a recovery plan.
My aunt says ‘Haresh I know someone broad who is a such a lovely girl,’
‘So just ignore the fact she enjoys samosa’s and occasionally a Cadbury’s twirl!
During the meal, there is usually a boring conversation,
And all I hear is a desire to be married with words of desperation.
So when they are too keen and want to get married so much,
It is that moment of the date you know it is best to simply just go Dutch!